We all say we want peace, but it is impossible to have peace in hell. A person at peace is a person who is secure. A person at peace is a person whose life is in order. Without security and order, human life can never be at peace.
The first step in the movement toward peace is to establish a peaceful relationship between males and females. This is the fundamental building block of any society; if the male/female relationship is not in a state of peace, then nothing constructed upon it can possibly be at peace. Again, for human life to be at peace, it must be in a state of security and order. This is the distinction between social order and social confusion. If our lifestyles create chaos, our mouths cannot create peace.
We say,”It takes a village to raise a child”. Since I believe this statement to be true, we therefore conclude that our village is in need of much repair on many levels. But the first thing to repair is the cornerstone upon which the entire village must be built: the relationship between males and females.
The primary attraction between males and females is a sexual attraction. This very powerful yet natural attraction has been placed in both males and females to insure the survival and perpetuation of the human race. Amazingly, everything vital to our survival has a PLEASURE PRINCIPLE tied to it. So we find sex pleasing, we find eating and sleeping to be pleasing, we find going to the bathroom pleasing. And to insure the survival of our babies, adults find pleasure in just looking into the eyes of infants; again, everything vital to our survival as a species has a “Pleasure Principle” attached to it. But the goal or objective is not the pleasure, pleasure is just the fuel driving us to the destination, which is why we use expressions like “Sex drive”. The vehicle of sex is designed to drive us past the sign on the road which reads “Orgasm”. Sex is intended to drive us toward a commitment to being fathers and heads (leaders) of our families. Sex is designed to drive us toward being responsible for the future lying inside ourselves and our children.
The greatest problem or challenge facing African American people today is an ATTITUDE toward sex devoid of commitment. Far too many of us rush toward the pleasure of sex but run away from the commitment inherent in the act. We want the pleasure of sex like we want the excitement of a ride at the fair; a quick thrill, then get off and go home or rush to the next ride. This attitude breeds social chaos even if it does not breed children. Condoms can protect us from breeding children but they cannot protect us from breeding chaos: because the more our women permit us to ride (without commitment), the more we see them as “Just a ride”. And both sexes know, they can find another ride d@__ near anywhere.
A society (village) comprised of baby daddy’s and a baby mama is incapable of producing security and order because the most vital relationships are not functioning naturally. The language itself denotes a fundamental detachment. If on the other hand, we changed the language from “My baby’s daddy” to “My husband” and from “My baby’s mama” to “My wife”...we immediately begin to introduce a sense of connections, cohesion and dignity back into the village. The village will be flourishing not only with the pleasure of sex but with the bonds of sex (as symbolized in wedding bands).
Marriage is bigger than personal choice. Marriage is the cornerstone of a functional village, not the individual. No individual can reproduce life without the aid of the opposite sex. When an individual male or female finds a mate, then those two people have within themselves the capacity to start the human race all over again if necessary. This powerful relationship must be protected and dignified through the institution of MARRIAGE. To that end, I raise the slogan “PICK and COMMIT”. Control the desire for sexual pleasure with the desire for commitment. If both are not present then neither should be present. The formula is sex + commitment=marriage=healthy village=healthy children=glorious future.
by: Shahied Rashid
Reader Comments




